There's no doubt that you want to be the best parent you can be. You want to show your children as much affection as possible, respond to their fears, and make sure that they're as happy as they can be.
But there are times that all of that affection can actually be a problem. It's possible that you can actually be the cause of separation anxiety in your child – by performing behaviors that can increase the likelihood of your child developing the disorder. That's why it's important that you know what you can do to prevent separation anxiety and help your children cope with the stresses of being away from you.
What it takes to Prevent Separation Anxiety
• Desensitize Your Child
The first thing you can do is try get your child used to being alone long before you plan to drop them off in a strange place. You can do this by getting them used to each stage of the leaving process. First, have a stranger (someone you know and trust, like a close friend) in the room with you as they play. Then leave the room for a while with the stranger watching them. Then, as they get used to that, leave the house all together but stand outside. Finally, leave in 5 to 10 minute increments. Only move on to the next stage when your child is used to the first stage. Repeat this process in other places besides your house so they're used to different surroundings.
• Don't Reward Fear
When you drop your child off somewhere, what you need to do is not acknowledge of reward the fear. Your child is bound to feel worried about you leaving them. They may even cry and try to get you to pick them up. You should avoid this as best you can, because what it does is it tells the child that if they are stressed, anxious, or scared, all they need to do is come to you. That may sound like a good thing, but eventually you'll have to leave, and when you do the child will need you more and you won't be there.
• Have Shorter Goodbyes
It's also important that you don't have long, extensive goodbyes. You need to act like you leaving is no big deal. If you spend a lot of time hugging your child and acting like you leaving is a big deal, then you'll increase your child's energy and anxiety while you're still there. Once you leave, that anxiety will improve drastically, because the long out goodbye will make your absence more noticeable.
• Have Shorter Hellos
It's not just the goodbyes that matter. No matter what your child is going to feel some anxiety while you're gone, even if they had a great time. When you come back, it's important not to make a big deal out of it. Children are smart, and if you come back and act like you're so happy to see them again (as though you thought something may go wrong when you were gone), your child is likely to respond with more fear in the future, believing that they have reason to be worried.
Controlling This Anxiety
Separation anxiety in children can be a serious issue. What's worse is that it often comes from parents that were unaware that their affections were actually producing a negative reaction in their children, despite the positive intentions. Remember, part of helping your child develop involves making sure that they react correctly to different environments, and in some cases that means that you have to avoid some of your natural parental instincts.
Bio – Micah Abraham has a degree in psychology and works as a content writer. He can be contacted at http://www.greatleapstudios.com
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